Andi Week 4: Most Valuable Player(s)

Hey you,

I couldn't watch the episode on Monday night because I had a previous engagement, but I am typing this up as I watch Tuesday morning. This week, Andi's gender-swapped harem heads off to New England, which to me isn't as pretty as it looks to be on this show.

They arrive at the hotel and of course, Beefcake Cody is in a muscle shirt and overly-large scarf. This is the best hotel they've ever lived at. It has a Jacuzzi. I mean come ON! A JACUZZI! And what better to do in a jacuzzi than pile on as many guys as you can into it, right?

Andi drops her usual "can't wait to meet the guys because they are so awesome" and we're off.

Dylan Date

Dylan to me is one of those guys that I can see developing very meaningful relationships in real life, but not on this show. You have such limited time to interact that if your guard doesn't come crashing down, you're bound to leave sooner or later.

They go on a steam train which is pretty cool and they kind of just sit around and talk. This is Dylan's backyard and Andi feels that this date is appropriate for him because he's in his element and can better open up. He points out that he actually swam the river that they cross, and obviously that's really cool.

The main conversations take place at dinner, where Andi kind of... forces (?) Dylan to open up. I can't explain in words how much I appreciate the person Andi is. Here's why- she pushed him to talk about himself, but unlike most people, who just rejoice at the fact that the pushing worked, Andi sat there, and listened, to EVERYTHING Dylan had to say. No interruptions, no judgments, she just listened. And after he was done, she comforted him.

She noticed that it is very very important to make it clear that the rose that Dylan was receiving was far from a pity rose, but that he received it because he trusted Andi enough to bare his soul to her, and that she was really grateful that she could be that person for him. 

Andi is just oozing in class at this point, and Dylan is a pretty solid guy who I can see going very far in real life. In the course of this game, not so much. Regardless, at least for the time being, he has a rose, and very deservedly so.

Group Date (Event)

The guys on this date are: Josh, Nick, Chris (I figured out that this is the farmer dude from Iowa), Andrick, JJ, Brian, Marquel, Eric, Tasos and Cody.

Can I just say, the only time I really like Josh is when he's with Andi. Also, JJ is wearing a shirt that says "Jj" and I want to shoot him.

Well the guys learn that they are going to be playing basketball against a WMBA team, and quite frankly, get schooled. There are so many reasons that this season so far has been my favorite season of the Bachelorette so far, and one of them is because it seems as if the producers were just like "say whatever you want we don't care." The team members of basketball team make so much fun of the guys on the court and I am in heaven.

The guys are split into two groups and the group named "Rosebuds" wins, meaning Josh, JJ, Patrick, Chris and Tasos lose. They stew in the locker room over how they played with their hearts and souls and losing isn't fair and blah blah blah,. What's not fair is JJ's hair all sweaty. That is really not a good look.

Another little point to make before I move on to the next section; Josh, when he loses, says that he hates losing and that losing the time with Andi is the worst part about it. JJ says that he doesn't care about the basketball game, but that he really wanted the time with Andi. I'm not really sure which of these I think is more appropriate. Although JJ is not the guy for Andi, at least he seems to be here for her. Josh really only cares about himself, and Andi is almost like a prize to him. I don't know where I'm going with this, just thought that it was worth it to point it out.

Group Date (Cocktail Party)

At the cocktail party, Marquel, Beefcake and Regina George get no time on air. First, Andi drags Eric away and tells him that hteir relationship is not progressing, and he says it is because this situation is a little too formal for his comfort. He wants assurance that the next time they meet it will be more causal, but she firmly says that's impossible, because, yeah, it is impossible for her to give you any kind of assurance this early on. He sorta kinda talks about his family because what else can you do when things are so awkward, and I have a bad feeling about this tonight.

Next, Brian takes her to the court and teaches her some moves. Andi manages to be sexy, slutty, sultry, classy and seductive all at once, and watching her prancing around barefoot in that tastefully tight dress is really doing things for me. She is to date the most gorgeous girl to appear on ANY of these shows (Renee from Juan Pablo's season is a close second), and I thoroughly enjoy her on my screen.

Brian makes an impressive half court shot, but then HE. DOES, NOT. KISS. HER. You idiot. 

Nick and Andi have some time alone too and I continue to really like this dude. He says that every moment spent with Andi is profoundly more interesting than he ever could've imagined, and I actually believe that coming out of his mouth. He wants to do more than side hug Andi, meaning he wants to fondle her breasts squeeze her ass, but can't, because other dudes and awkwardness.

Date rose goes to Brian, which was pretty predictable. Good choice.

Marcus Date

HOW HONESTLY HOW is it possible for Andi to look soooo hot in a sweatshirt is beyond me. 

If you were clever like me, you'd skip the next 15 minutes because how many times have you seen the "trust fall" date? I really did skip it but let me guess: they were both deathly terrified of heights, both were freaking out, they took support from each other and just went for it and they felt great after. Sound about right? Alright let's move on.

Something about Marcus' hair bothers me. Also, him trying to open up is not doing it for me because Dylan already had that covered for this particular week. Oh look, there's an unkown band. Where they dance. Who woulda thunk it.

This was kind of like, blegh? Nothing really happened, he's a catch and he's normal, and that's that. Next.

Cocktail Party

Andi looks great in emerald while she receives a letter. It's a love letter. From a secret admirer. My bet's on Nick.

Tasos asks about HER, which is amazing, because that's what you do in a relationship. He needs a one-on-one so I can gauge where I stand on him already. I can't believe there are still 13 guys left. Production is doing a really good job with highlighting the realness of the guys and only focusing on the ones that Andi actually feels something for.

Brian steals her away, takes her back to the court and kisses Andi, and she sighs from relief because she's been thirsty for him since he made that shot. Andi swoons over his sexiness and she is h-o-r-n-y. 

And now comes the real drama...

ERIC (the dead guy) tells ANDI that he came to date a real person, not a TV actress. Duuuuuude. Not good. Nooooooot good. What? How can she be more real and genuine than what she's been so far??? I am truly truly flabbergasted. You know that there are 12 other guys in this show too right? She can't just say, "Eric you're the one I love let's get married"? There's a show to shoot? A contract to fulfill? She has to restrain her feelings because there's an order to all this.

Look, this isn't real life. Ask Ali Fedotowsky. She had her top 2 on HER FIRST NIGHT, but she had to see it through. Andi has to do the same. And she's trying really really hard to give each guy their own time and build those connections and have those conversations and I am kind of really upset that he thinks she's being fake.

THE REASON ANDI BROKE UP WITH JUAN PABLO, WAS BECAUSE OF HIS POKER FACE. Eric just accused her of doing the thing that she most despises, and to me, it's completely just wrong. I hate to be barking at a person that passed away, but I am really offended by this.

Tribute to Eric

There was one incident that infuriated me, but he was a great guy. He was a really, really good guy. This segment was done well, and they did not dwell that much on Andi. It was more Eric-centered and Andi said really solid things about him and they only have respect from him.

 We find out that they said goodbye to Tasos. Umm, okay. Sure. Because Cody, Andrew and Patrick should totally get those roses.

We are back in two weeks, meaning you can take next Monday off. Until next time,

I'm Wahid,

And you're alive