Bachelor in Paradise: Meet the Cast!

Hey you.

Before the season is officially underway, let's briefly revisit each of the contestants appearing on this season.

The Guys

Marcus (Andi's season)- Marcus was the guy sent home after the hometown dates. He told Andi he was falling in love their first date and actually fell hard by their second. He was also a little obsessively attached to Andi and to stripping.

Ben (Des' season)- He was painted as the villain on Des' season, when all he did was try to steal her away even when he *gasp* HAD A ROSE. He also wore that horrendous black tank, but all in all, Ben was focused on his relationship with Des and I certainly didn't see anything wrong with that. He was one of the only 3 guys I liked on Des' season, including Chris and Juan Pablo (this changed drastically).

Dylan (Andi's season): Dylan was sent home on Andi's season right before hometowns. He's a stellar guy who has a tragic past, but he's gotten through the worst and he's also very attractive so he should have no problem finding himself a girl. I really liked him last season and am looking forward to more of his humorous side this season.

Robert: (Des' season): This guy claimed that he invented "sign spinning." What? That's about all I remember from him.

Graham (DeAnna's season): You probably don't remember him from his season, because that was a generation ago. But he also appeared on BachPad 2, and ended up going to the finals with Michelle Money. He's a total gentleman and looks better at 35 than most guys do at 20.

Marquel (Andi's season): Cookie monster Marquel won over the hearts of Bachelor Nation by just oozing of class and humor. Nobody can say anything negative about Marquel. At all. No seriously.

The Girls

Michelle (???): Honestly I don't know anything about this chick other than the fact that this crazy bitch locked my precious Tenley in a bathroom and yelled at her until she cried. So like, back the fuck off.

AshLee (Sean's season): She fell madly in love with Sean and planned their entire life together. She was sent home during the fantasy suite episode, probably because she told Sean her finger measurements for a ring. I generally liked AshLee, and was glad when she stood up for herself after Sean let her go. But she gets kind of aggressive and a little bit obsessive, so we'll see how Bachelor in Paradise bodes for her.

Daniella (Sean's season): Drunk and fun. Got a group date rose at some point, if I remember correctly. I loved me some Daniella commentary.

Lacy (Juan Pablo's season, apparently): ???

Clare (Juan Pablo's season): Clare got silver on Juan Pablo's season, but she took quite a beating from the viewers (me included) for her whiny tendencies and ignorance to how the Pabs was taking advantage of her. I had a sour taste for Clare all season but upon re-evaluation, she didn't seem all that terrible. Certainly not Tierrable. Also, she redeemed herself in the verbal beating she offered Juan Pablo after he didn't pick her and then when she, filled with class, refused to meet him at the ATFR. Good on ya.

Sarah (Sean's season): Sweet Sarah received the first date on Sean's season. Her story of living life with only one arm touched the hearts of America, and from what I can gather, she was in the running for being the Bachelorette after his season, but they went with Des instead. 

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NEW ARRIVALS SPOILER ALERT! New contestants arriving each week.

Chris (Emily's season): This guy is a Bachelor-cam whore. He made it to top 4 on Emily's season, cried a lot after his elimination, and left in everyone's good graces. Then, he appeared on BachPad 3 and totally screwed his image over by trying to juggle three women and suggesting that women were like cars. THEN, he appeared on Andi's season but she wouldn't let him through the gate. Finally, he'll be on this show. And maybe more to come from future franchise shows.

Michelle Money (Brad's second season): Money money money MONAAAY. Painted as the villain on her season, Michelle is undoubtedly one of the hottest girls to have ever graced Bachelor Nation's TV screens. The girl is drop dead gorgeous. She's also intelligent, well spoken and has a kind heart. All around, she's a blessing upon this franchise. She also reached the finals of BachPad 2 with Graham (which was one of the most solid partnerships that formed in the three BachPad seasons). Also, rest of the cast LOVES her, and rightfully so.

Beefcake Cody (Andi's season): Ya'll know my distaste for him. I really dislike Cody. A lot. And he's really freaking orange. And whiny. Just, ugh. And based on the previews, Michelle ends up smacking on him, which is just gross, because I actually love Michelle.

Kalon (Emily's season): KALON. Another "villain" that I LOVE. Kalon is too intelligent for this franchise. He was kicked out by Emily after he called her daughter "baggage." While mean, that statement is a 100 percent true. A child is baggage to anyone that's going to date you. It's the truth. Then, he came on BachPad 3 and fell in love with Lindzi from Ben's season. From what I gather, they are no longer together but are great friends, so good for them. Also, Kalon's commentary is frigging hilarious.

Danielle (Juan Pablo's season): The black chick that never spoke. But her Twitter is pretty funny, so maybe she'll bring some of that spunk to this show, and not leave her personality at home like last time.

Jackie (Sean's season): Jackie was one of my favorites on Sean's season, though she had absolutely no chemistry with him. She went home after Tierrable threatened Sean into giving her the two-on-one date. Jackie is friends with most of her cast, and is funny and beautiful. I have high hopes for her stint on this show.

Brooks (Des' season): This sucker cried and cried and made Des cry and CRY when he dumped her ass after he was in the top 3 because he wasn't "feeling that extraordinary love." What a tool. Kidding. I kind of (?) liked him. We shall see where Paradise takes him.

Christy (Juan Pablo's season): ???

Kovacs (Jillian's season): You do not remember him from Jillian's season because let's be honest, who even watched Jillian's season? She was a terrible Bachelorette (well better than DeAnna, but that's not saying much). However, you do remember him from BachPad 1, where he, for what reason Lord only knows, paired up with crazy, controlling, obsessive Elizabeth. They didn't win. Because she was crazy. And a bitch. And tried to use her body to enrapture men. She was psychotic. Poor bastard had to deal with that. Sorry dude.

Lucy (Juan Pablo's season): Free spirit Lucy kind of made an impression by always getting naked. Also, her profession is "free spirit," so that's interesting. She's actually pretty funny, but craves attention in unhealthy levels.

Tasos (Andi's season): This guy actually got dumped BEFORE Andrick and Orange Beefcake Cody. Andi was clearly not in her right mind. Anyways, he's nice, his piercings are fucking weird, and I don't know what else to say about him.

Zack (Des' season, apparently): Who? Serious, have I seen this guy before? ABC says he was on Des' season. Okay sure.

Okay so that's it. Whew that's a lot of freaking people. I'm looking forward to this. See you after the first episode airs!

I'm Wahid,

And you're better off for having such an organized list

Bachelorette Andi: Afterthoughts

Hey you,

I know I haven't posted at all and before ya'll think I'm not cut out for the blogosphere, let me let you know that I just enderwent spine surgery so even though I watched the show in the conforts of my own home, I was not well enough to type up a 3+hour blog post. So I chose to do this instead. Even though I haven't blogged nearly enough, readers probably know that I hate play by plays, so this works out well.

Let's get started.

The Nick Situation

If you guessed that Nick's behavior on the ATFR totally turned me away from being a fan and a supporter, you're completely and absolutely incorrect.

I pretty much gave him a standing ovation for calling Andi out like that. Was it the classiest thing he could've done? Probably not. But did he really do anything wrong? Nope. She fucked him. Let's call a spade a spade. He let her know that sex was extremely important to him, and she said "yes I understand let's fuck." Why on earth is he not allowed to bring that up? Why does that make him the villain? Two people had sex in that room, and both have an equal right on deciding what happens with that information. It's not like any of us don't KNOW what happens in the fantasy suite, and Nick just vocalized it. Also, he seeked her out in private, twice. She wanted to have the discussion in front of the cameras, and that's what happened. That was on her.

On to the heartbreak. He wasn't stalking her. She did not give him enough justification as to why he was being let go. He felt led on. Everybody that watched this show knows that Andi felt something special for Nick. The words she used to describe him, the way she looked at him, it's all on tape. There's PHYSICAL EVIDENCE of her feelings, people. And then the coldness during ATFR was just the icing on the cake to push him over the edge.

Here's my best guess at what happened: Andi saw the taping and was freaked that Josh's roid rage would come out because he'd see how into Nick she was. So her response was to back track, and make it seem like she wasn't actually ever that into Nick, she was just doing it for the cameras. 

Andi as Bachelorette

Despite my ragging on her the past few paragraphs, I still stand by my statement that Andi is the best bachelorette in the franchise so far. I think her reasons for dismissing people are a little misguided (more on that later) and I think she was a complete wuss with the Nick situation, but she was also quite composed and wasn't afraid to show her real emotions as opposed to acting like a perfect puppet for the sake of the producers. 

Also, though I bagged on Josh a LOT in my spare time, if you look at their off-screen interviews (without the Bachelor crew and stuff), it's OBVIOUS why she picked Josh. They have mad chemistry, and he's actually quite funny and definitely not as self-absorbed as the show portrayed him to be. When will the Bachelor people realize that showing the guys for who they are is probably going to score them more points with the audience?

Departures

Andi let Eric go because they don't see eye to eye and the relationship wouldn't be going anywhere. Problem. She dumped Juan Pablo because he wouldn't hear anything bad about himself and was self absorbed and she went against the grain. But then, that's what Eric did too! He went against the grain and told her what he was feeling (I didn't agree with him, but point remains), and then she let him go.

She told Marcus she didn't see a foundation with him. Things you look for in a foundation for a relationship: Time- Marcus was one of her first dates, therefore getting a longer time distance than most. Money and Job- He's rich and has a good job. Family- they are supportive. Physical Attraction- He's hot. So, what more is needed in a FOUNDATION? She could've said, "I just don't feel the sparks" or "I just connect more with the others" or some other bullshit like that. But her excuse? Crap.

Nick. I've already said a lot about this, but to reiterate. She led him on big time. I haven't seen one like this in a long while. I think Arie was the last that was led on this major. Well, maybe Chantal by Brad. MAYBE. And then, her cold attitude and telling him that he actually never crossed her mind? I call BS.

Bachelor in Paradise

You can bet your ass I will be reviewing this show. That's all I will say. Oh wait, no. KALON. I'M SAVED. He'll be back on my screen again and his personality will make up for all the other cast mates that have the personalities of trash cans. Yeah, I'm real excited for Kalon.

Next Bachelor

I've thrown in all my chips for Arie. I'm campaigning hard. The dude clearly deserves it; he's humorous, confident, doesn't spew out bullshit from his mouth and can form cohesive thoughts without getting carried away into tangents or meaningless metaphors. Please, powers that be. I wanted him when they chose Sean and I want him to be it now. Make it happen.

That's about all I have to say. I enjoyed watching this season and even though couldn't see it through with the blogging, it was fun writing up whatever I did, and thanks for reading. I will be back for BiP and also for the next season (Arie's season, hopefully) of the Bachelorette.

Until then,

I'm Wahid,

And may Josh and Andi find love and happiness