Andi Week 3: All the Low-lifes

Hey you.

So tonight, Andi's journey for love has officially begun. First destination: Santa Barbara, which is, say it with me, THE PERFECT PLACE TO FALL IN LOVE.

Nick Date

Andi believes that the best way to know someone is through interaction in the real world, and with every single thing that spews out of her mouth I fall a little more in love. I'll admit, I was skeptical of her being the Bachelorette at first, namely because Desiree was my favorite and her stint as the Bachelorette really ruined her for me, and I didn't want the same done to Andi. But so far all she's done has impressed me. 

She picks a bicycling, casualy stroll in the streets kind of date for Nick. Nick, along with Josh, are my two front runners from night 1. (I should mention, I usually end up supporting my first two picks throughout the journey. Examples: Courtney and Emily on Ben's season, Arie and Jef on Emily's season, Shawntel and Chantal on Brad's second season, etc.) 

Nick seems to me like a genuinely skeptical guy, and as I mentioned on Twitter, that is the best possible thing you can expect from one of these contestants. He gives me all the right vibes, especially when in relation to Andi. I think while Josh is "her type," Nick is a little more unsure of himself, a little more coy. But he also has that playful, teasing aspect to him and I just think him and Andi could be giggling at one moment but become completely serious if needed at a moment's notice.

Their dinner conversation goes well and their kiss is like fireworks. Dude's got some game. I'm ready for this couple to work out.

Group Date

Honestly, I don't have any notes (should I take some from next time?) but I think I can take a pretty good guess at which guys were on the date. 

Marcus

Tasos 

Josh 

Andrick (Andrew and Patrick because they love each other and do everything together)

Opera Douche

Orange Beefcake

Marquel

Ron

Eric (*sobs*)

(I think that's it?)

So these guys go prancing on the date and Andi gives her usual spiel about how she "can't wait to spend more time with the guys" because "the guys are infectious and their energy is infectious." They all probably are infectious with some STD or other, but that's neither here nor there. The boys walk up and Andi tells us that she's going to be separating the boys from the men, because they will be singing with Boys II Men.

Every single guy BUTCHERS the song. Let me just say, this would be the worst possible date for me. I know bad singing. THAT IS BAD SINGING. I felt uncomfortable just watching them. I cannot imagine how embarrassing it'd be in their shoes, but most of them handled it with quite a lot of... grace?

Except of course Bradley, Mr. Obviously I'll Get the Group Date Rose because I'm in My Element. (Spoiler: he didn't get the group date rose). If that's how he sings he really should look for a job besides the opera. Yeah, I'm very original with the jabs and digs I make at people. You're welcome.

The group date rose goes to Josh after some face-eating, which was ushered in by some face-eating from Marcus. I can't tell which one is the worse kisser. Let me tell you, they are no Nick (definitely not Arie). Nothing much of interest happens (that's the cocktail party).

JJ Date

I tweeted out "I'll be damned if pantsapreneur comes back with a date rose." I'm damned. But I don't really mind because I'm not completely sure where I stand on him just yet. He's a nice guy and he can be funny but man does he love to talk.

For their date, they dress up and do makeup like old people and Andi still looks hot according to JJ but JJ just looks like a crusty old man and even though that's probably going to be the case for all the guys when they grow old, at least the other guys have the advantage of the world not being aware of that fact.

Their date is very cutesy and they do adorable things like ask people to take pictures of them and it was kind of a cute but sad kind of date because this might be JJ's only date and he doesn't even get to do young-folk things.

He gets a rose which was well deserved after his bullying talk. Did I say talk? Funny, that's what JJ likes to do if you didn't notice. That man can talk.

Rose Ceremony

You know who I love? Andrew. Andrew is my fave. Totes. Possesionista was dead on when she said he was the Regina George. 

At the rose ceremony, JJ is upset by Ron's departure (one of his buds passed away) and says there are things he needs to get off his chest, something which has absolutely no relation to Ron's departure. Is it just me or does Andi's entire season just revolve around death?

JJ wants to confront someone but can only do so with a real man backing him up, so he goes to Josh about Andrew getting a number from some girl at a bar. They go and confront him, and like music to my ears, he drops the "I'm a grown ass man" line. Chris Bukowski jumps for joy knowing he'll have another grown-ass man to talk to, finally.

Andrew denies it, Nick calls BS, Andrew says that Nick, Josh AND JJ are all low lifes that don't deserve Andi's life. He just insulted both my front runners. But he also probably thinks they are so pretty.

Incidentally, Patrick is more hurt by Andrew's betrayal than Andi is. How dare there be a third suitor for Andrew's heart?

Roses go to:

Nick (date rose)
Josh (group date rose)
JJ (date rose)
Orange Beefcake/ Poor Man's Sean 
Andrick (</3?)
Dylan the Survivor
Marcus
Tasos
Marquel
Brian (apparently there's a Brian)
And of course, Mr. Eric Hill, probably the classiest contestant to ever appear on this show. His family has to be proud of him right now.

Opera Douche and Lamp Guy goes home, and everybody is happy that now only half of the remaining contestants suck.

Until next time,

I'm Wahid, and you're awesome